Because of Isabel Kabra
by FallingforWerewolves
Summary: Song-fic to Kelly Clarkson's Because of You.  Tissues may be needed.  Rated because it mentions cutting.


**A/N: Warning! This is extremely sad, or at least I think it is. This has been staring at me whenever I go through the fan fiction I've written on my computer. I figured it was about time that I posted it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song or the obviously abused Ian Kabra. **

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><p><em>I will not make <em>

_The same mistakes that you did_

Oh, the mistakes she made. I can't even count them.

_I will not let myself_

_Cause my heart so much misery_

Too late.

_I will not break the way you did_

_You fell so hard_

Slapping me, shooting Natalie in the foot, threatening everyone's lives. Now she's in jail.

_I've learned the hard way_

_To never let it get that far_

I thought back on all the horrible things I did for her in the clue hunt, just to see her turn against us. Definitely the hard way to learn something.

_Because of you_

_I never stray too far from the sidewalk_

I stay on one side now. I don't want to double cross anyone ever again.

_Because of you_

_I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

I never admitted my feelings for Amy for fear of rejection from both her and my mother.

_Because of you_

_I find it hard to trust not only me_

_But everyone around me_

Cahills never trusted one another, but my lack of trust went deeper. I never and still don't trust myself.

_Because of you_

_I am afraid_

If this is repeated, I will deny it: I'm scared of pretty much everything. I never know if the guy walking by me on the street will pull a knife on me or just be completely normal. I can't even look at adults anymore.

_I lose my way_

_And it's not too long before you point it out_

I let her make too many of my own decisions.

_I cannot cry_

_Because I know that's weakness in your eyes_

I had wanted to so badly. I almost cried when she was thrown in prison, even though she deserved it, but I didn't. I knew she would make some snide remark about how weak I am to everyone in attendance.

_I'm forced to fake_

_A smile _

_A laugh_

_Every day of my life_

Even before Korea, my smirk became what it was because she told me that it was what I should do. I knew that no one would think anything was wrong if I insulted, pestered and laughed cruelly at everyone.

_My heart can't possibly break_

_If it wasn't even whole to start with_

Whenever I see Amy with Tolliver I feel empty. Sadness is there, but not as strongly as it is in books or movies. She took the caring part of my heart away and left only what would keep me alive.

_Because of you_

_I never stray too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you_

_I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

_Because of you_

_I find it hard to trust not only me_

_But everyone around me_

_Because of you_

_I am afraid_

_I watched you die_

She died as a mother, but lived on as a monster

_I heard you cry_

_Every night in your sleep_

She was always crying about father who had almost no time or attention for her. She felt neglected.

_I was so young_

_You should have known better_

_Than to lean on me_

She dumped all of her anxieties, fears and responsibilities on me when I was nine.

_You never thought of anyone else_

_You just saw your pain_

She never saw mine or Natalie's pain; her own children. She never saw the pain of the families of her latest murder victim. She never saw Amy and Dan's pain when she killed their parents.

_And now I cry in the middle of the night_

_For the same damn thing_

I cry at night for having lost someone I love, all thanks to her.

_Because of you_

_I never stray too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you_

_I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

_Because of you_

_I try my hardest just to forget everything_

I had cut myself once, just to see if I could forget something about the horror I had experienced.

_Because of you_

_I don't know how to let anyone else in_

Natalie and I had drifted even further apart. All the other Cahills sometimes asked me if there was something wrong. I never told them anything. They may all trust each other, but they never had her as a mother.

_Because of you_

_I'm ashamed of my life_

_Because it's empty_

Father had disappeared, she's in jail, Natalie is now a hostage, and Amy has moved on, obviously forgetting everything about me.

_Because of you_

_I am afraid_

_Because of you_

_Because of you_

Because of Isabel Kabra I was miserable.

Because of Isabel Kabra I had lost the one girl I cared about.

Because of Isabel Kabra I will never have any friends.

Because of Isabel Kabra I will die alone and unloved.

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><p><strong>AN: Does anyone else want to give Ian a hug and tell him it's okay? Please review this horrifyingly sad song fic.**


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